Just a dash of crazy :)

OOOOOO where to begin…
I feel like I’m back at my “word salad” days.
I’ll try my darndest to organize the jungle of thoughts crawling around in this brain of mine but I make NO promises!
Okie dokie so here we go:

Men don’t get it (or at least mine)…Or maybe it is me

Lately there has been quite a bit of harsh words being exchanged between the Jimbo and me. The usual blissful house of Kinane has lately been riddled with spits, spats, and yea a few hissy fits. Fault is not important it just always ends with the same way; I scream, “You just don’t understand!” I’m in tears and Jimbo just stares at me like some alien form has taken over his wife. And let’s not forget poor Marley who just sits in the middle of the room staring at both us and pondering who to console first.

Issue 1

I want to use a Doula.

Jimmy doesn’t understand the use of one and the importance of their presence through the labor process [pre- and post- pushing the watermelon out]. While natural childbirth is still a card on the table I am not completely ruling out the use of an epidural. I know I am supposed to be all womanly and take childbirth like a champ and I am going to try but this image always gets stuck in my head…

Issue 2

I have become SUPER sensitive!!!!

The days of ‘Angie; woman made of steel’ are gone [as evidence by a previous post…remembering juicing of own lemons :*(]. So things that wouldn’t normally graze a hair on my head now extremely break me down to the point that would put a three-year-old to shame. Jimmy I believe forgets this factoid on a regular basis and I believe I do take things a little too personally… [SN: I am in NO way admitting I am wrong I am simply stating a fact!] Either way the tears continue.

We got nothing…seriously nothing

SERIOUSLY! We are now at the 17 week point [yay!] and we don’t have a onesie, a binky, a stroller, a crib, a cloth diaper…NOTHING!!!
I have never felt so insecure and unprepared in all.my.life.
I am a nurse [ha that feels so cool to finally say]. Nurses like to be prepared, know what is gonna happen and have plenty of alcohol swabs in our pockets to disinfect anything.
I know it all comes in time I am just ready to be ready…

Moving..its gonna happen

So the Jimbo and I have decided that we will not be renewing our lease come September. I am very sad about this but this decision is for the best. We have decided to move to a place a little lighter on the rent with a washer/dryer. The in-laws have been fabulous in allowing us to use their laundering facilities since we moved into our beach bungalow almost two years ago but with a little one on the way I know more laundering will be necessary than our usual haul. [Big thanks to the in-laws!!!!]
Sooo…this means a move in September…when I am 7 months pregnant. All favors will be called in. Beer will be brought for bribery. It’s gonna take a team of people to make this happen! Love you all in advance for the help :)
And with our saved change on rent…we shall hopefully become HOME OWNERS!!!!!!

Happy News

I have to leave you all on a happy note cause this post seems a little morose.
Baby movement has begun!
Pop tart seems to prefer the left side. Most movement seems to be at night or if I am lying down in any way.

18 days til we find out if pop tart is a Wesley or a Madeline :)

oh...a grauation post is coming I am just waiting on photos..uh hmmm GREG!

A little torture may be involved

Well since we are waiting [not by my choice of course] ‘til our actual 20th week to find out if ‘pop tart’ will be a Madeline or a Wesley I have nothing to purchase, peruse, or in Jimmy’s word spend every last red cent we have.
So I have come to the decision [on my own!] of what reward I will receive for being so patient in finding out the gender of this bouncy baby Kinane.
And drum roll please...

It swivels, it rocks, it’s squishy and it comes in corduroy.

This is the man’s equivalent to a right-by-the-side-of-the-couch-self-pouring-keg.
Don’t you just want to pat me on the back and say that is the perfect present to get one’s self for being a patient and doting mother-to-be.

The kicker to this majestic self-gift is the price tag.
Enter torture.

I may have to resort to some manipulative and deceiving actions to make this purchase possible [it’s ok Jimmy doesn’t read the ‘family’ blog so I’m in the clear to discuss openly]. Blackmail, bringing up a few “remember when?’s”, and a little bribery will be involved but this guy will, I repeat WILL be in Madeline/Wesley’s nursery come birthing time.

So onto the stuff you guys love to know about this ever changing carrier-of-life:

Mood: TONS better this week, I feel happy, I feel good and Jimmy is still alive.
Tummy region: My sides are tender and I have a feeling Maternity jeans will be purchased in the next week.
Swelling: None.
Girls: Chillin.
Weight: Still at 126…even though I eat alllllll the time!
Things that make you go huh?: I have had increasingly more belly rubs. I don’t really mind them. It’s just kinda odd to be touched in one area by so many people. I almost feel like a puppy and people are trying to get me to do that leg thing when they rub my belly.

Roller Coaster of WHOA!!

Yes life has its ups and its down.

We are all aware. But I never imagined the emotionality of being pregnant would be this extreme.

While having a plethora of doctor appointments is great so that ‘pop tart’ gets checked regularly and I get to exhale a major sigh of relief. But I am right back to holding it the minute I step out of the doctor’s office ‘til the next time I stroll in and they check for a heartbeat. So needless to say I am becoming emotionally overworked and the doctors do.not.help.at.all!!! I love comments like, “We can’t completely reassure you but things look good right now”, “We can’t say exactly what the statistics are but you ‘should’ be fine”, and my all time favorite “We know you are worried but try to relax.”

Relax.
I wish.
Oh and poor Jimmy.
I am pretty sure he didn’t realize how much drama and tears he would be in for.

[And I cry over just about everything even the spilled soy milk.]
Songs in the car. Movies. Mother’s Day wishes and cards. The grocery store was out of pre-made lemon juice and I cried at the idea of having to juice my own lemons. See every.thing.

And then of course right after I am done bawling my eyes out I am fine, dandy and ready to eat something deep fried and smothered in chocolate [or peanut butter].

I know this post isn’t as fluffy and happy as normal but today I feel like being a crabby pants.

Other changes:
The driest skin no matter how much lotion I use.
The “twins” have actually decreased in size [they were quite swollen during the first trimester!]
T-shirts and dresses still fit but pants are now held up by the Belly Band. I am not at the point of maternity jeans, yet!
No strange food cravings as of yet I just want what I want when I want it.

And seriously hoping for a surge in "happy" hormones!

Lovenox Shmovenox

As many have read on my Facebook page I have been giving myself daily shots.

Well I must give credit where credit is due so big thanks to Jimbo and Nicole for alternating on giving me these oh.so.great.feeling shots on the days where I can’t suck it up and do it myself.

Ok, so why?

Why the shots?

So because I am considered “high-risk” I see the two doctor groups remember; regular guys and the scary ones. Well the scary ones [EVMS] decided they wanted to run a genetic blood panel testing for all kinds of bleeding or clotting disorders. So after they withdrew twelve, hold on I didn’t do that right; TWELVE tubes of blood and a month later we have a few of the results back. Some of the genetic tests actually can take up to 3 months to get back which would mean I won’t get some results back ‘til my 7th month of pregnancy. Crazy, I know.

So the results:

1. MTHFR

A bunch of letters that basically mean I am at high risk for blood clots.
Treatment: 81mg chewable baby aspirin and 1mg folic acid a day
Interpretation: Not too shabby I can handle that.

More Info:
http://mthfr.net/

2. Antiphosolipid Antibody Syndrome
(Hughes Syndrome)

This is another type of clotting disorder. Auto-immune, lifelong treatment, linked to other diseases such as Lupus and MS.
Treatment: Shot of Lovenox [a blood thinner] daily
Interpretation: FREAKED OUT.

More Info:
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/aps/aps_what.html

I must admit I took this news like a ton of bricks.
I cried. Cried some more. And finally; acceptance.

So the doctor’s say:
These two genetic disorders could have been the original cause of us losing Gregory.
These tests would NOT have been performed had we not lost Gregory.
So finally something good comes out of tragedy.

So here is a look at the “pharmacy”:

Well I totally empathize with diabetics.

So yea, this new regimen blows a lot , but it is what it is and Baby Kinane is doing just fine.
Bouncy around and enjoying “her” space while “she” has it!

Thanks to all who have helped in lifting my spirits over the last few weeks.

On an upside, I have my 13 week appointment today [even though I'll be 14 weeks tomorrow] with the regular guys and hope to hear ‘pop tart’ and all “her” glory!!!

'Pop tart' came fromm my overwhelming cravings for blueberry pop tarts! [ha...see Jimmy it's a girl!]